Jolting back, I kept my hands up between us, hovering close in case he couldn't manage to sit up. I thought of my mother, then. Of the nights she drank herself to unconsciousness, the nights she pretended to be fine when she wasn't. The vodka and OJ she hid in a plastic cup, like I was too fucking stupid to know what it was.
Fingers curling against my palms, I squeezed my eyes shut, reminding myself to breathe.
"Did you fucking walk here?" I asked, phone in my hand. "Where's Edgar, does he know where you are?"
It felt unfair to mention him at all, let alone pass any sort of judgement about R leaving him to his own devices, when I'd done the same, but they needed each other. The idea that I'd maybe fucked that up, too, hit me harder than any of the rest of it.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2020-06-11 03:29 am (UTC)Fingers curling against my palms, I squeezed my eyes shut, reminding myself to breathe.
"Did you fucking walk here?" I asked, phone in my hand. "Where's Edgar, does he know where you are?"
It felt unfair to mention him at all, let alone pass any sort of judgement about R leaving him to his own devices, when I'd done the same, but they needed each other. The idea that I'd maybe fucked that up, too, hit me harder than any of the rest of it.